Then I met Nora. Nora lived in my freshman dorm and we had several classes together, so we began spending a lot of time together. My boyfriend encouraged the friendship... One day a few months later, however, a startling thought crossed my mind: “I’m in love with Nora.” ... That summer, we began what turned out to be a three-year affair. Nora and I chose to be roommates for my remaining two years of college...we periodically dated men while together...I never dated another woman after Nora, mostly because I never met another to whom I felt such a strong emotional attraction. The sexual attraction to women, however, never went away. I discovered that while I was still attracted to individual men, I was primarily attracted to women as a whole both sexually and emotionally.
Two years later, I met my husband...I’d finally achieved a “normal” life. Yet even then, same-sex attraction insidiously inserted itself. When I traveled out of town for work, I struggled not to go to lesbian bars...But understanding my sexuality did not make the temptations go away. I could not just turn off the habit of being sexually aroused by women. For a while, I convinced myself that as long as I wasn’t actually engaging in homosexual acts, I wasn’t sinning (i.e., fantasy is okay). The more I understood authentic chastity, however, the flimsier this excluse became. Am I “pure of heart” when indulging in sinful fantasies during the most intimate act of my marriage? ... I work hard to avoid near occasions of sin. For instance, I avoid deeply emotional friendships with women that eclipse the one with my husband. I don’t watch gay- and lesbian-themed movies. I also have trained my imagination to avoid impure fantasies. It can be tempting to fall into old thought patterns, especially if I’m tired. But if necessary, I’ll shut down physically and emotionally to avoid offending God... I’m really no different than a straight man who struggles not to objectify women. Or a straight woman who is tempted to fornicate...I’m not capable of re-ordering my broken sexuality, but as I’ve witnessed in the past decade, it can be reordered with grace and trust in Jesus. It just takes time and a desire to be healed.
She sounds like she's been Skyped by Liberty Christian Ministries Inc.
Ooooh I bet the boys and girls at Anglican Mainstream found this article a bit of easy reading! I wonder...when Christian women dress up like me as a turn on, are their husbands sinning...or does the sin only occur if he starts to believe that I'm a third member in the sexual encounter. I know...let's ask sex expert, Mark Driscoll!
BREAKING THANKFULNESS - Chapter 22: " I find it thrilling to discover that I have just awakened from what seemed a very long and less than cheerfilled sleep." Len - *EARLIER CHAPTER:* "*I ran/run in life! Ready (again)! Fearless/afraid, hardworking/feckless, steaming/rolling/drolling but mostly clammouring for, and ...
3 months ago